Bon Jovi Sounds Like Beer

So I’ve been hearing a lot about the Jovi. Friends, co-workers, they all seem to want me to believe Bon Jovi is making a resurgence.

After my first few listens to Bon Jovi’s new record Lost Highway I wasn’t feeling it.

It just wasn’t that great. And worse, it seemed like maybe Jon Bon had gone the born again Christian route with lots of religious references in the music. Don’t get me wrong, nothing wrong with faith -just keep the God out of my rock. When it is there I tend to prefer the spiritual (U2) side more than the heavy-handed religious stuff. I feared maybe Bon Jovi had gone the route of Tim McGraw who recently seems to have lost touch with what made him famous in the first place. The mustached and heavy Tim McGraw I went to see at the State Fair years ago doesn’t look much like the all white outfit newly religious Tim of today. It’s almost as if he’s casting himself to replace George Burns in the next “Oh God!” movie.

Turns out the born again thing wasn’t really there, but I returned to the office explaining to people I wasn’t feeling the Jovi. But the pregnant gals in the elevator would set their hands on their bellies give a knowing glow and say, “Just keep listening.”

And you know what, they were right. It got better. Lost Highway is Michelob Golden Light music. You’re not proud to be ordering it, you can drink a lot of it, and it sounds better with wheelbarrows and wood chips nearby.

But despite what you may have heard, Lost Highway is not a country record. Sure it has that new country cross format appeal, but it’s missing the central ingredient of country music . . .stories. At its core country music is about the stories. That’s why it’s great road music, great yard work music. That’s why if I had to pick a format to listen to on a desert island it would be country.

In fact, Jon Bon Jovi’s solo effort for the Young Guns 2 soundtrack is a lot closer to a country record at its core as he told tall tales on songs like “Blood Money”, and “Santa Fe.” Truth be told, that old Young Guns 2 soundtrack puts Lost Highway to shame.

That being said, Lost Highway is a nice little 18 pack of canned beer. It starts fast with the title track “Lost Highway” leaping off the page. We’re not sure where we’re going, but we’re going to get their fast with the “dashboard Jesus” leading the way. “Lost Highway” is a nice, if not memorable, opener –pretty much what you’d expect from the boys.

Jovi get their Will Smith on for “Summertime” a juicy fruit, beach ball number that’s OK as long as the top is down. The first single “(You want to) Make a Memory” is an interesting track. It’s a big song, that’s incredibly soft. You have to turn the volume up to even hear it, but I think that’s what makes it work. File it under guilty pleasure along with the Goo Goo Dolls. You can’t help but sing this one in the car.

“Whole Lot of Leavin’” is one of the songs that probably had people referring to Lost Highway as a country album. It has a lot of similarities to new country fare including the title. This one has a little more fall leaves, a little more “September” to the sound. Wouldn’t be surprised if this becomes a deep single depending on how long the record stays on radio.

“We Got it Going On” features hick-hop superstars Big & Rich (Of “Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)” fame). The last time anything felt this desperate was when Harrison Ford got an earring. Terrible all the way down to the awkward shout outs. Plain awful.

I remember when I was growing up there was this rumor that Jon Bon Jovi actually couldn’t sing. As the story went, his voice was totally produced and he got tons of help in the studio from computers and such. Time has come to reveal that this is far from the case with the ageless Jon Bon doing his best to replace Dick Clark. But the guys do get a great mix from time to time. This is true specifically on “Any Other Day.” If the CD sticker is any indication, “Any Other Day” is likely to be a single, and probably because it has that glossy sheen. If you listen to a lot of music I ask you to try this one on for size if for no other reason than to hear the mix. It sounds expensive. It also sounds pretty good. “Any Other Day” is one of the better tracks on the album, fails to reach mix tape status, but it’s nice.

That’s the thing with Lost Highway overall. It’s just “B-grade” good. It’s like you’re grilling on the driveway with a couple beers and the local new country station manages to put together a nice 45 minute block of music. That’s basically what Bon Jovi has done here. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a sure thing. It will sound good in the yard, in the truck, and by the pool.

Not country. Not brilliance. But I’m glad they’re still around.