31 Reasons The White Stripes Icky Thump Is The Best Album Of 2007 So Far – Part II

11) There is a pretty serious account guy in my office. The other day a new White Stripes convert was playing her album in the office. He asked her what it was. And after pausing for a moment he said, “That’s the worst music I’ve ever heard.”
12) Actually, that’s worth two spots on the list. Rock & Roll is not for everyone, especially people in slacks.
13) While I don’t think the Stripes every truly get me to think because my head is bobbing too much, I do like the “why don’t you kick yourself out you’re an immigrant too. Can’t be a pimp and a prostitute” bit on Icky Thump as it relates to illegal aliens in this country. Don’t we have something better to do? Sure, make it hard for them to get into the country. But once they’re here, they’ve won the lottery as far as I’m concerned.
14) People need guitar, and Jack White will not tease you. He gives it to you. I got a note in the mail the other day from the blood bank looking for Type-O blood. What the world really needs is more guitar. Just listen to a song like “You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do As Your Told)” and there are so many layers to the guitar. He does the rubber band thing at the intro, goes power chords, and still snaps off the acid bagpipe solo to get the tartar off those hard to reach places.
15) Yes people need guitar gods. A couple bands right now get this, namely Wolfmother and The White Stripes. Even a less than great song like “Bone Broke” comes with a monster riff at the bottom of the cereal box.
16) Jack White needs to do an instrumental guitar track, that would be classic. Think “Eruption” by Van Halen. That would be so throwback cool. And it would be killer. That’s what teenage boys need, instrumental guitar tracks and heroes.
17) I got to say I like the whole Taboo aspect to this band. Jack and his sister Meg. A duo (2 people!) make this much music for Christ’s sake. And it sort of feels like they love each other in an Angelina Jolie and her brother sort of way. They must have something weird going on. You can’t make music this creative and cut the crusts off your PB&J. And if it sounds like this, I don’t care what comes out on the therapy couch.
18) “300 M.P.H. Torrential Output Blues” does a nice job of painting a dingy motel room as the protagonist tries to stare in the mirror and focus on the one in the middle. It’s a leg out of the bed on the ground so I stop spinning sort of track, with nice lines like “I’m breaking my teeth off trying to bite my lip.”
19) Red heads. I’m convinced the most creative people are attracted to red headed women. Springsteen is fixated on red heads, and he always walking around with 36 new songs in his head. Jack sings about red heads, and he married one. Maybe super creative types need to reach the outer edge of the palette even on hair color—they need the full range of the spectrum. If someone is singing about a red headed woman, chances are you might want to pay more attention. Jack even named his daughter Scarlett.
20) I’ve always felt I was miscast in this era. I would have been a lot more fun in the Wild West. I would have been the cowboy with the hat flipped up in front. Love to laugh, love to travel. Love the tie your horse up beginnings of relationships. And if an iPod fit into my holster, I’d play a song like “Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn” as I shook off a whiskey hangover with aid of my dusty canteen. I know they’re doing more of a Scottish thing here with the bagpipes and all, but the trippy sequence that bends into “St. Andrew (This Battle is in The Air)” sounds more like a gallop to me. Love the psychedelic “St. Andrew” – we don’t have enough weird shit on records anymore. Ride with me!

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